Up for Whatever pt1

11.23.15e
Super Bowl Commercial

Scene: a loud bar. A man walks in the door and sits down at the bar and shouts over the noise of the music and the other patrons. 

Man: “Can I get a Bud light?”

Bartender: “If I give you this drink, are you up for whatever happens next?”

Man: “Uh, Sure. What?”

Bartender: “Ok, here. Thanks for being up for whatever.”

Man: “Whaa? How did you speak with italics?”

Bartender: “Nevermind that. It’s just to make this dialogue easier to read.”

The bartender hands the man a bottle of Bud Light. The Man is immediately surrounded by a pack of midgets dressed as pac-man. The midgets are grinding and gyrating all over his ankles. The man tries not to lose his balance and step on any of them. 

Man: “Um, Can I help you guys?”

Midgets dressed as pac men: Dancing harder

Man looks up at the bartender who was suspiciously accepting a bulging envelope from a group of Clydesdale horses.

Man to the drunk next to him: “Dude, are those horses over there?”

Drunk: “Shouldn’t have gotten bud light, Man.”

The bartender walks to the other end of the bar and pulls a lever. The man falls through a trap door, taking a few of the midgets with him. 

Man: “Ahhh!”

Midgets dressed as pacmen: “Weeeee”

Drunk: *takes Man’s bud light*

The group falls through a dark tunnel for a few seconds, then crash onto a concrete floor.

Man’s Legs: CRUNCH!

Midgets: dead.

Man: “AAAHHH… Uhhh… Whaaaaat the…”

Dark Figure: “Let’s go, Bud, somebody’s up for whatever”

The two dark figures pull the Man onto a ping pong table. The Man stares at the ceiling that is plastered with movie posters.  The Expendables. Napoleon Dynamite. The Man blacks out.

The Man comes wakes up with throbbing pain. He looks around in a dirty corner of a blaring club. One Republic is playing. He looks down and sees a large incision across his stomach. He loses consciousness as they sing, “everybody knows where we’re going, yeah, we’re going down.” 

The Man dies. His family tries to sue Anheuser-Busch for stealing his kidneys, but they lose the court case because the bartender testifies that the Man agreed he was “up for whatever.” 

 

 

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