I was thinking today (by thinking I mean “using the toilet”)…Since I use the bathroom about 5 times more frequently than someone who does not have colitis, it is five times more impressive that I haven’t gotten pink eye yet.
*edit: after a cursory check of the internet, I have learned that pink eye can be caused by many things, and not necessarily always fecal matter in your eyes. But let’s be honest. If you have pink eye, everybody’s gonna assume you were slingin’ poo like a monkey at the zoo. Which is fine. You can sling poo like a monkey if you want to. As long as you don’t throw it at the monkeys. They don’t allow that. Trust me, I know. Some of my best friends are monkeys. Ha. Just kidding, I’m not cool enough to hang with the monkeys.